Put To Death

Mulla Nasrudin claimed to be God and was brought before the Caliph, who said to him, "Last year someone here claimed to be a prophet and he was put to death!"

Nasrudin replied, "It was well that you did so, for I did not send him."

Less Is Better

Mulla Nasrudin used to stand in the street on market-days, to be pointed out as an idiot. No matter how often people offered him a large and a small coin, he always chose the smaller piece.

One day a kindly man said to him: Nasrudin, you should take the bigger coin. Then you will have more money and people will no longer be able to make a laughing stock of you.

That may be true, said Nasrudin, but if I always take the larger, people will stop offering me money to prove that I am more idiotic than they are. Then I would have no money at all.

It WIll Be Done

"May the Will of Allah be done," a pious man was saying about something or the other. "It always is, in any case," said Mulla Nasrudin.

"How can you prove that, Mulla?" asked the man. "Quite simply. If it wasn't always being done, then surely at some time or another my will would be done, wouldn't it?"

Up The Ladder For An Answer

One day Mulla Nasrudin repaired tiles on the roof of his house. While Nasrudin was working on the roof, a stranger knocked the door. - What do you want? Nasrudin shouted out.

Come down, replied stranger So I can tell it. Nasrudin unwilling and slowly climbed down the ladder. - Well! replied Nasrudin, what was the important thing?

Could you give little money to this poor old man? begged stranger. Tired Nasruddin started to climb up the ladder and said, - Follow me up to the roof. When both Nasrudin and beggar were upside, on the roof, Nasrudin said, - The answer is no!

Honorific Titles

A certain conqueror said to Mulla Nasrudin: "Mulla, all the great rulers of the past had honorific titles with the name of God in them: there was, for instance, God-Gifted, and God-Accepted, and so on.

How about some such name for me?"

"God Forbid," said Nasrudin.

The Only Barber

Mulla Nasrudin was walking along the street when he passed another man with a lot of stubble on his face standing outside a shop.

Nasrudin asked: "How often do you shave?

Twenty or thirty times a day," answered the man with the stubble.

"What! You must be a freak!" exclaimed Nasrudin. "No, I'm only a barber," replied the man with the stubble.

A Donkey's Word

One day , one of Mulla Nasrudin's friend came over and wanted to borrow his donkey for a day or two.

Nasrudin, knowing his friend, was not kindly inclined to the request, and came up with the excuse that someone had already borrowed his donkey. Just as Nasrudin uttered these words, his donkey started braying in his backyard.

Hearing the sound, his friend gave him an accusing look, to which Nasrudin replied: "I refuse to have any further dealings with you since you take a donkey's word over mine."

The Cause For Running

"When I was in the desert," said Mulla Nasrudin one day, "I caused an entire tribe of horrible and bloodthirsty bedouins to run."

"However did you do it?"

"Easy. I just ran, and they ran after me."

Smaller Fish

Once a renowned philosopher and moralist was traveling through Mulla Nasrudin's village when he asked him where there was a good place to eat. He suggested a place and the scholar, hungry for conversation, invited Nasrudin to join him. Much obliged, Nasrudin accompanied the scholar to a nearby restaurant, where they asked the waiter about the special of the day. "Fish! Fresh Fish!" replied the waiter.

"Bring us two," they answered. A few minutes later, the waiter brought out a large platter with two cooked fish on it, one of which was a bit smaller than the other.

Without hesitating, Nasrudin tooked the larger of the fish and put in on his plate. The scholar, giving Nasrudin a look of intense disbelief, proceed to tell him that what he did was not only blatantly selfish, but that it violated the principles of almost every known moral, religious, and ethical system.

Nasrudin calmly listened to the philosopher's extempore lecture patiently, and when he had finally exhausted his resources, Nasrudin said, "Well, Sir, what would you have done?" "I, being a conscientious human, would have taken the smaller fish for myself."

"And here you are," Nasrudin said, and placed the smaller fish on the gentleman's plate.

More Useful

One day Mullah Nasrudin entered his favorite teahouse and said: 'The moon is more useful than the sun'.

An old man asked 'Why Mulla?'

Nasrudin replied 'We need the light more during the night than during the day.'

Promises, Promises

"Darling," said the young woman,"I could die for your sake."

"You are always promising that,” said Mulla Nasrudin, "But you never do it."

Drunk Husband

Mulla Nasrudin's young wife, recently returned from her honeymoon, was complaining to her friend about her husband's drinking habits.

"If you knew he drank, why did you marry him?" her friend asked. "I did not know he drank," said Nasrudin's wife, "Until one night he came home sober."

What Is Wrong With Me?

"Doctor," a woman said as she rushed into Mulla Nasrudin's house, "I want you to tell me frankly, exactly what is wrong with me." Nasrudin looked her over from head to foot, then said, "Madam, I have three things to tell you.

First, you are about fifty pounds overweight, Second, your looks would be improved if you took off several layers of rouge and lipstick. And third, i am not the doctor. the doctor's office is across the street."

Law Of Compensation

Mulla Nasrudin's son, home from college, was talking to his father about the "Law of Compensation," which he had studied.

"If a person loses one eye," he explained, "the sight in the other becomes stronger. If he loses the hearing in one ear, the hearing in the other becomes more acute. If he loses one hand, he becomes more agile with the other."

"I guess that's right," said Nasrudin. "I have always noticed that when a man has one short leg the other is longer."

Borrow From Me

A well-known dead-beat caught Mulla Nasrudin on the street one day before the Mulla could duck.

"I am really in a jam and need money," he said to the Mulla," and I have not any idea where I am going to get some." "I am sure glad to hear that," said Nasrudin.

"I was afraid you might have the mistaken idea you could borrow some from me."

Telling Not Asking

It seemed that every time Mulla Nasrudin met his lawyer, he had some added legal fees. It worried the Mulla to the point of ulcers.

Then one day, he met his lawyer in the post office and said, "Nice day, isn't it? And remember, I am telling you, not asking you."

Getting Used To It

Mulla Nasrudin was telling a friend his future through palmistry. He said, "You will be poor and unhappy and miserable until you are sixty."

"Then what?" asked the man hopefully. "By that time," said Nasrudin, "You will be used to it."

Which Girl Should I Marry

A college freshman was talking about girls with Mulla Nasrudin. "Which would you advise me to do? Marry a sensible girl or a beautiful girl, Mulla?" he asked.

"I don't think you will be able to marry either," said the Mulla. "Why not?" asked the freshman.

"It's logical," said Nasrudin. "A beautiful girl could do better and a sensible girl would know better."

No Whipping

"Why are you so down in the mouth, Mulla?" asked someone in the tavern. "Aw," said Mulla Nasrudin, "I just heard a guy call another fellow a liar.

And that fellow said that if he didn't apologize, he would whip him." "Well, why should that make you so sad?" asked the first.

"Because," said Nasrudin, "The guy apologized."

Video On Mulla Nasrudin Story

Loreleila reads from 'The Exploits of the Incomparable Mullah Nasrudin' by Idries Shah.