One Less Gold

Mullah Nasruddin was dreaming that someone had counted nine gold pieces into his hand, but Mullah Nasruddin insisted that he would not accept less than ten pieces.

While he was arguing with the man over one gold piece, he was awakened by a sudden noise in the street. Seeing that his hand was empty, Mullah Nasruddin quickly closed his eyes, extended his hand as if he was ready to receive, and said, "Very well, my friend, have it your way. Give me nine."

Ways Of God

One hot day, Nasruddin was taking it easy in the shade of a walnut tree. After a time, he started eying speculatively, the huge pumpkins growing on vines and the small walnuts growing on a majestic tree.

Sometimes I just can't understand the ways of God! he mused. Just fancy letting tinny walnuts grow on so majestic a tree and huge pumpkins on the delicate vines! Just then a walnut snapped off and fell smack on Mullah Nasruddin's bald head.

He got up at once and lifting up his hands and face to heavens in supplication, said: "Oh, my God! Forgive my questioning your ways! You are all-wise. Where would I have been now, if pumpkins grew on trees!

Who To Believe

A neighbor who Nasruddin didn't like very much came over to his compound one day. The neighbor asked Nasruddin if he could borrow his donkey. Nasruddin not wanting to lend his donkey to the neighbor he didn't like told him, "I would love to loan you my donkey but only yesterday my brother came from the next town to use it to carry his wheat to the mill to be grounded. The donkey sadly is not here."

The neighbor was disappointed. But he thanked Nasruddin and began to walk away. Just as he got a few steps away, Mullah Nasruddin's donkey, which was in the back of his compound all the time, let out a big bray. The neighbor turned to Nasruddin and said, "Mullah Sahib, I thought you told me that your donkey was not here. Mullah Nasruddin turned to the neighbor and said, "My friend, who are you going to believe? Me or the donkey?

The Khutbah

Once, the people of The City invited Mullah Nasruddin to deliver a khutba. When he got on the minbar (pulpit), he found the audience was not very enthusiastic, so he asked "Do you know what I am going to say?"

The audience replied "NO", so he announced "I have no desire to speak to people who don't even know what I will be talking about" and he left. The people felt embarrassed and called him back again the next day.

This time when he asked the same question, the people replied "YES" So Mullah Nasruddin said, "Well, since you already know what I am going to say, I won't waste any more of your time" and he left. Now the people were really perplexed. They decided to try one more time and once again invited the Mullah to speak the following week.

Once again he asked the same question - "Do you know what I am going to say?" Now the people were prepared and so half of them answered "YES" while the other half replied "NO". So Mullah Nasruddin said "The half who know what I am going to say, tell it to the other half" and he left!

Running After Me

"When I was in the desert," said Nasruddin one day, "I caused an entire tribe of horrible and bloodthirsty bedouins to run."

"However did you do it?" "Easy. I just ran, and they ran after me."

Deductive Reasoning

"How old are you, mulla? someone asked, 'Three years older than my brother.

'How do you know that?'

'Reasoning. Last year I heard my brother tell someone that i was two years older than him. A year has passed. That means that I am older by one year. I shall soon be old enough to be his grandfather.'

Knowing The Future

Mulla Nasrudin was cutting a branch off a tree in his garden one day. While he was sawing, a man passed by in the street and said, "Excuse me, but if continue to saw that branch like that, you will fall down with it."

He said this because Nasrudin was sitting Nasrudin said nothing. He thought, "This is some foolish person who has no work to do but go around telling other people what to do and what not to do."

The man continued on his way. Of course, after a few minutes, the branch fell and Nasrudin fell with it. "My God!" he cried. "That man knows the future!" He ran after him to ask how long he was going to live. But the man had already gone.

Cold December

One December day the village boys decided to play a trick on Mulla Nasrudin to fool him. They hid Mullah Nasruddin's coat when he was performing ablution for Friday ritual.

But Mulla Nasrudin perceived that a trick on the way. "Mulla Nasrudin, it's a cold day, why don't you wear your coat?" asked one of them "I left my coat at home to keep the place warm!" answered Mulla Nasrudin.

Wet As You

Obligation Mulla Nasrudin nearly fell into a pool one day. A man whom he knew slightly was nearby, and saved him. Every time he met Nasrudin after that he would remind him of the service which he had performed.

when this had happened several times Nasrudin took him to the water, jumped in, stood with his head just above water and shouted: "Now I am as wet as I would have been if you had not saved me! Leave me alone."

A Replacement

When you face things alone You may have lost your donkey, Mulla Nasrudin, but you don't have to grieve over it more than you did about the loss of your first wife.

Ah, but if you remember, when i lost my wife, all you villagers said: We'll find you someone else. So far, nobody has offered to replace my donkey."

Put To Death

Mulla Nasrudin claimed to be God and was brought before the Caliph, who said to him, "Last year someone here claimed to be a prophet and he was put to death!"

Nasrudin replied, "It was well that you did so, for I did not send him."

Bizarre Behaviour

Walking one evening along a deserted road, Mulla Nasrudin saw a troop of horsemen rapidly approaching. His imagination started to work; he saw himself captured or robbed or killed and frightened by this thought he bolted, climbed a wall into a graveyard, and lay down in an open grave to hide.

Puzzled at his bizzare behaviour, the horsemen - honest travellers - followed him. They found him stretched out, tense, and shaking. "What are you doing in that grave? We saw you run away. Can we help you? Why are you here in this place?"

"Just because you can ask a question does not mean that there is a straightforward answer to it," said Nasrudin, who now realized what had happened. "It all depends upon your viewpoint. If you must know, however, I am here because of you - and you are here because of me!"