Finding The Ring

One day Mullah Nasruddin lost his ring down in the basement of his house, where it was very dark. There being no chance of his finding it in that darkness, he went out on the street and started looking for it there.

Somebody passing by stopped and enquire: "What are you looking for, Mullah Nasruddin ? Have you lost something?" "Yes, I've lost my ring down in the basement."

"But Mullah Nasruddin , why don't you look for it down in the basement where you have lost it?" asked the man in surprise. "Don't be silly, man! How do you expect me to find anything in that darkness!"

Wit And Wisdom

The wit and wisdom of Mullah Nasruddin never leaves him tongue-tied. One day an illiterate man came to Mullah Nasruddin with a letter he had received. "Mullah Nasruddin, please read this letter to me."

Mullah Nasruddin looked at the letter, but could not make out a single word. So he told the man. "I am sorry, but I cannot read this." The man cried: "For shame, Mullah Nasruddin ! You must be ashamed before the turban you wear (i.e. the sign of education)"

Mullah Nasruddin removed the turban from his own head and placed it on the head of the illiterate man, said: "There, now you wear the turban. If it gives some knowledge, read the letter yourself."

Merits Of Youth

At a gathering where Mullah Nasruddin was present, people were discussing the merits of youth and old age. They had all agreed that, a man's strength decreases as years go by. Mullah Nasruddin dissented.

I don't agree with you gentlemen, he said. In my old age I have the same strength as I had in the prime of my youth. How do you mean, Mullah Nasruddin? asked somebody. Explain yourself.

In my courtyard, explained Mullah Nasruddin, there is a massive stone. In my youth I used to try and lift it. I never succeeded. Neither can I lift it now.

One Less Gold

Mullah Nasruddin was dreaming that someone had counted nine gold pieces into his hand, but Mullah Nasruddin insisted that he would not accept less than ten pieces.

While he was arguing with the man over one gold piece, he was awakened by a sudden noise in the street. Seeing that his hand was empty, Mullah Nasruddin quickly closed his eyes, extended his hand as if he was ready to receive, and said, "Very well, my friend, have it your way. Give me nine."

Ways Of God

One hot day, Nasruddin was taking it easy in the shade of a walnut tree. After a time, he started eying speculatively, the huge pumpkins growing on vines and the small walnuts growing on a majestic tree.

Sometimes I just can't understand the ways of God! he mused. Just fancy letting tinny walnuts grow on so majestic a tree and huge pumpkins on the delicate vines! Just then a walnut snapped off and fell smack on Mullah Nasruddin's bald head.

He got up at once and lifting up his hands and face to heavens in supplication, said: "Oh, my God! Forgive my questioning your ways! You are all-wise. Where would I have been now, if pumpkins grew on trees!

Who To Believe

A neighbor who Nasruddin didn't like very much came over to his compound one day. The neighbor asked Nasruddin if he could borrow his donkey. Nasruddin not wanting to lend his donkey to the neighbor he didn't like told him, "I would love to loan you my donkey but only yesterday my brother came from the next town to use it to carry his wheat to the mill to be grounded. The donkey sadly is not here."

The neighbor was disappointed. But he thanked Nasruddin and began to walk away. Just as he got a few steps away, Mullah Nasruddin's donkey, which was in the back of his compound all the time, let out a big bray. The neighbor turned to Nasruddin and said, "Mullah Sahib, I thought you told me that your donkey was not here. Mullah Nasruddin turned to the neighbor and said, "My friend, who are you going to believe? Me or the donkey?

The Khutbah

Once, the people of The City invited Mullah Nasruddin to deliver a khutba. When he got on the minbar (pulpit), he found the audience was not very enthusiastic, so he asked "Do you know what I am going to say?"

The audience replied "NO", so he announced "I have no desire to speak to people who don't even know what I will be talking about" and he left. The people felt embarrassed and called him back again the next day.

This time when he asked the same question, the people replied "YES" So Mullah Nasruddin said, "Well, since you already know what I am going to say, I won't waste any more of your time" and he left. Now the people were really perplexed. They decided to try one more time and once again invited the Mullah to speak the following week.

Once again he asked the same question - "Do you know what I am going to say?" Now the people were prepared and so half of them answered "YES" while the other half replied "NO". So Mullah Nasruddin said "The half who know what I am going to say, tell it to the other half" and he left!

Running After Me

"When I was in the desert," said Nasruddin one day, "I caused an entire tribe of horrible and bloodthirsty bedouins to run."

"However did you do it?" "Easy. I just ran, and they ran after me."

Deductive Reasoning

"How old are you, mulla? someone asked, 'Three years older than my brother.

'How do you know that?'

'Reasoning. Last year I heard my brother tell someone that i was two years older than him. A year has passed. That means that I am older by one year. I shall soon be old enough to be his grandfather.'

Knowing The Future

Mulla Nasrudin was cutting a branch off a tree in his garden one day. While he was sawing, a man passed by in the street and said, "Excuse me, but if continue to saw that branch like that, you will fall down with it."

He said this because Nasrudin was sitting Nasrudin said nothing. He thought, "This is some foolish person who has no work to do but go around telling other people what to do and what not to do."

The man continued on his way. Of course, after a few minutes, the branch fell and Nasrudin fell with it. "My God!" he cried. "That man knows the future!" He ran after him to ask how long he was going to live. But the man had already gone.

Cold December

One December day the village boys decided to play a trick on Mulla Nasrudin to fool him. They hid Mullah Nasruddin's coat when he was performing ablution for Friday ritual.

But Mulla Nasrudin perceived that a trick on the way. "Mulla Nasrudin, it's a cold day, why don't you wear your coat?" asked one of them "I left my coat at home to keep the place warm!" answered Mulla Nasrudin.

Wet As You

Obligation Mulla Nasrudin nearly fell into a pool one day. A man whom he knew slightly was nearby, and saved him. Every time he met Nasrudin after that he would remind him of the service which he had performed.

when this had happened several times Nasrudin took him to the water, jumped in, stood with his head just above water and shouted: "Now I am as wet as I would have been if you had not saved me! Leave me alone."

A Replacement

When you face things alone You may have lost your donkey, Mulla Nasrudin, but you don't have to grieve over it more than you did about the loss of your first wife.

Ah, but if you remember, when i lost my wife, all you villagers said: We'll find you someone else. So far, nobody has offered to replace my donkey."

Put To Death

Mulla Nasrudin claimed to be God and was brought before the Caliph, who said to him, "Last year someone here claimed to be a prophet and he was put to death!"

Nasrudin replied, "It was well that you did so, for I did not send him."

Bizarre Behaviour

Walking one evening along a deserted road, Mulla Nasrudin saw a troop of horsemen rapidly approaching. His imagination started to work; he saw himself captured or robbed or killed and frightened by this thought he bolted, climbed a wall into a graveyard, and lay down in an open grave to hide.

Puzzled at his bizzare behaviour, the horsemen - honest travellers - followed him. They found him stretched out, tense, and shaking. "What are you doing in that grave? We saw you run away. Can we help you? Why are you here in this place?"

"Just because you can ask a question does not mean that there is a straightforward answer to it," said Nasrudin, who now realized what had happened. "It all depends upon your viewpoint. If you must know, however, I am here because of you - and you are here because of me!"

The Clothes Got Me In

One day Mulla Nasrudin went to a banquet. As he was dressed rather shabbily, no one let him in. So he ran home, put on his best robe and fur coat and returned.

Immediately, the host came over, greeted him and ushered him to the head of an elaborate banquet table. When the food was served, Nasrudin took some soup with spoon and pushed it to the his fur coat and said, Eat my fur coat, eat! It's obvious that you're the real guest of honor today, not me!

Less Is Better

Mulla Nasrudin used to stand in the street on market-days, to be pointed out as an idiot. No matter how often people offered him a large and a small coin, he always chose the smaller piece.

One day a kindly man said to him: Nasrudin, you should take the bigger coin. Then you will have more money and people will no longer be able to make a laughing stock of you.

That may be true, said Nasrudin, but if I always take the larger, people will stop offering me money to prove that I am more idiotic than they are. Then I would have no money at all.

It WIll Be Done

"May the Will of Allah be done," a pious man was saying about something or the other. "It always is, in any case," said Mulla Nasrudin.

"How can you prove that, Mulla?" asked the man. "Quite simply. If it wasn't always being done, then surely at some time or another my will would be done, wouldn't it?"

Up The Ladder For An Answer

One day Mulla Nasrudin repaired tiles on the roof of his house. While Nasrudin was working on the roof, a stranger knocked the door. - What do you want? Nasrudin shouted out.

Come down, replied stranger So I can tell it. Nasrudin unwilling and slowly climbed down the ladder. - Well! replied Nasrudin, what was the important thing?

Could you give little money to this poor old man? begged stranger. Tired Nasruddin started to climb up the ladder and said, - Follow me up to the roof. When both Nasrudin and beggar were upside, on the roof, Nasrudin said, - The answer is no!

Stand By What He Says

A friend asked Mulla Nasrudin "How old are you?" "Forty replied the mulla."

The friend said but you said the same thing two years ago!"

"Yes" replied the mulla, "I always stand by what i have said."

Honorific Titles

A certain conqueror said to Mulla Nasrudin: "Mulla, all the great rulers of the past had honorific titles with the name of God in them: there was, for instance, God-Gifted, and God-Accepted, and so on.

How about some such name for me?"

"God Forbid," said Nasrudin.

The Only Barber

Mulla Nasrudin was walking along the street when he passed another man with a lot of stubble on his face standing outside a shop.

Nasrudin asked: "How often do you shave?

Twenty or thirty times a day," answered the man with the stubble.

"What! You must be a freak!" exclaimed Nasrudin. "No, I'm only a barber," replied the man with the stubble.

Two Questions

Mulla Nasrudin opened a booth with a sign above it: Two Questions On Any Subject Answered For Only 100 Silver Coins.

A man who had two very urgent questions handed over his money, saying: A hundred silver coins is rather expensive for two questions, isn't it?

Yes, said Nasrudin, and the next question, please?

A Donkey's Word

One day , one of Mulla Nasrudin's friend came over and wanted to borrow his donkey for a day or two.

Nasrudin, knowing his friend, was not kindly inclined to the request, and came up with the excuse that someone had already borrowed his donkey. Just as Nasrudin uttered these words, his donkey started braying in his backyard.

Hearing the sound, his friend gave him an accusing look, to which Nasrudin replied: "I refuse to have any further dealings with you since you take a donkey's word over mine."

The Cause For Running

"When I was in the desert," said Mulla Nasrudin one day, "I caused an entire tribe of horrible and bloodthirsty bedouins to run."

"However did you do it?"

"Easy. I just ran, and they ran after me."

Fashion Show

Once, when Mulla Nasrudin was visiting a Western town, he was invited to attend a fashion show. He went, and afterwards he was asked how he liked it.

"It's a complete swindle!" he exclaimed indignantly. "Whatever do you mean?" he was asked. "They show you the women - and then try to sell you the clothes!"

Smaller Fish

Once a renowned philosopher and moralist was traveling through Mulla Nasrudin's village when he asked him where there was a good place to eat. He suggested a place and the scholar, hungry for conversation, invited Nasrudin to join him. Much obliged, Nasrudin accompanied the scholar to a nearby restaurant, where they asked the waiter about the special of the day. "Fish! Fresh Fish!" replied the waiter.

"Bring us two," they answered. A few minutes later, the waiter brought out a large platter with two cooked fish on it, one of which was a bit smaller than the other.

Without hesitating, Nasrudin tooked the larger of the fish and put in on his plate. The scholar, giving Nasrudin a look of intense disbelief, proceed to tell him that what he did was not only blatantly selfish, but that it violated the principles of almost every known moral, religious, and ethical system.

Nasrudin calmly listened to the philosopher's extempore lecture patiently, and when he had finally exhausted his resources, Nasrudin said, "Well, Sir, what would you have done?" "I, being a conscientious human, would have taken the smaller fish for myself."

"And here you are," Nasrudin said, and placed the smaller fish on the gentleman's plate.

More Useful

One day Mullah Nasrudin entered his favorite teahouse and said: 'The moon is more useful than the sun'.

An old man asked 'Why Mulla?'

Nasrudin replied 'We need the light more during the night than during the day.'

Running Bedouins

"When I was in the desert," said Mulla Nasrudin one day, "I caused an entire tribe of horrible and bloodthirsty bedouins to run."

"However did you do it?"

"Easy. I just ran, and they ran after me."