Laugh With Mulla Nasrudin

Finding The Ring

2009-08-30T22:27:00.000+08:00

One day Mullah Nasruddin lost his ring down in the basement of his house, where it was very dark. There being no chance of his finding it in that darkness, he went out on the street and started looking for it there.

Somebody passing by stopped and enquire: "What are you looking for, Mullah Nasruddin ? Have you lost something?" "Yes, I've lost my ring down in the basement."

"But Mullah Nasruddin , why don't you look for it down in the basement where you have lost it?" asked the man in surprise. "Don't be silly, man! How do you expect me to find anything in that darkness!"

Wit And Wisdom

2009-07-14T19:04:00.000+08:00

The wit and wisdom of Mullah Nasruddin never leaves him tongue-tied. One day an illiterate man came to Mullah Nasruddin with a letter he had received. "Mullah Nasruddin, please read this letter to me."

Mullah Nasruddin looked at the letter, but could not make out a single word. So he told the man. "I am sorry, but I cannot read this." The man cried: "For shame, Mullah Nasruddin ! You must be ashamed before the turban you wear (i.e. the sign of education)"

Mullah Nasruddin removed the turban from his own head and placed it on the head of the illiterate man, said: "There, now you wear the turban. If it gives some knowledge, read the letter yourself."

Merits Of Youth

2009-07-08T21:48:00.000+08:00

At a gathering where Mullah Nasruddin was present, people were discussing the merits of youth and old age. They had all agreed that, a man's strength decreases as years go by. Mullah Nasruddin dissented.

I don't agree with you gentlemen, he said. In my old age I have the same strength as I had in the prime of my youth. How do you mean, Mullah Nasruddin? asked somebody. Explain yourself.

In my courtyard, explained Mullah Nasruddin, there is a massive stone. In my youth I used to try and lift it. I never succeeded. Neither can I lift it now.

One Less Gold

2009-06-21T11:18:00.002+08:00

Mullah Nasruddin was dreaming that someone had counted nine gold pieces into his hand, but Mullah Nasruddin insisted that he would not accept less than ten pieces.

While he was arguing with the man over one gold piece, he was awakened by a sudden noise in the street. Seeing that his hand was empty, Mullah Nasruddin quickly closed his eyes, extended his hand as if he was ready to receive, and said, "Very well, my friend, have it your way. Give me nine."

Ways Of God

2009-06-20T10:29:00.001+08:00

One hot day, Nasruddin was taking it easy in the shade of a walnut tree. After a time, he started eying speculatively, the huge pumpkins growing on vines and the small walnuts growing on a majestic tree.

Sometimes I just can't understand the ways of God! he mused. Just fancy letting tinny walnuts grow on so majestic a tree and huge pumpkins on the delicate vines! Just then a walnut snapped off and fell smack on Mullah Nasruddin's bald head.

He got up at once and lifting up his hands and face to heavens in supplication, said: "Oh, my God! Forgive my questioning your ways! You are all-wise. Where would I have been now, if pumpkins grew on trees!

Who To Believe

2009-06-18T23:15:00.001+08:00

A neighbor who Nasruddin didn't like very much came over to his compound one day. The neighbor asked Nasruddin if he could borrow his donkey. Nasruddin not wanting to lend his donkey to the neighbor he didn't like told him, "I would love to loan you my donkey but only yesterday my brother came from the next town to use it to carry his wheat to the mill to be grounded. The donkey sadly is not here."

The neighbor was disappointed. But he thanked Nasruddin and began to walk away. Just as he got a few steps away, Mullah Nasruddin's donkey, which was in the back of his compound all the time, let out a big bray. The neighbor turned to Nasruddin and said, "Mullah Sahib, I thought you told me that your donkey was not here. Mullah Nasruddin turned to the neighbor and said, "My friend, who are you going to believe? Me or the donkey?

The Khutbah

2009-06-14T23:15:00.000+08:00

Once, the people of The City invited Mullah Nasruddin to deliver a khutba. When he got on the minbar (pulpit), he found the audience was not very enthusiastic, so he asked "Do you know what I am going to say?"

The audience replied "NO", so he announced "I have no desire to speak to people who don't even know what I will be talking about" and he left. The people felt embarrassed and called him back again the next day.

This time when he asked the same question, the people replied "YES" So Mullah Nasruddin said, "Well, since you already know what I am going to say, I won't waste any more of your time" and he left. Now the people were really perplexed. They decided to try one more time and once again invited the Mullah to speak the following week.

Once again he asked the same question - "Do you know what I am going to say?" Now the people were prepared and so half of them answered "YES" while the other half replied "NO". So Mullah Nasruddin said "The half who know what I am going to say, tell it to the other half" and he left!

Running After Me

2009-06-13T16:16:00.000+08:00

"When I was in the desert," said Nasruddin one day, "I caused an entire tribe of horrible and bloodthirsty bedouins to run."

"However did you do it?" "Easy. I just ran, and they ran after me."

Deductive Reasoning

2009-06-10T21:47:00.000+08:00

"How old are you, mulla? someone asked, 'Three years older than my brother.

'How do you know that?'

'Reasoning. Last year I heard my brother tell someone that i was two years older than him. A year has passed. That means that I am older by one year. I shall soon be old enough to be his grandfather.'

Knowing The Future

2009-06-09T23:45:00.000+08:00

Mulla Nasrudin was cutting a branch off a tree in his garden one day. While he was sawing, a man passed by in the street and said, "Excuse me, but if continue to saw that branch like that, you will fall down with it."

He said this because Nasrudin was sitting Nasrudin said nothing. He thought, "This is some foolish person who has no work to do but go around telling other people what to do and what not to do."

The man continued on his way. Of course, after a few minutes, the branch fell and Nasrudin fell with it. "My God!" he cried. "That man knows the future!" He ran after him to ask how long he was going to live. But the man had already gone.

Cold December

2009-06-08T22:52:00.000+08:00

One December day the village boys decided to play a trick on Mulla Nasrudin to fool him. They hid Mullah Nasruddin's coat when he was performing ablution for Friday ritual.

But Mulla Nasrudin perceived that a trick on the way. "Mulla Nasrudin, it's a cold day, why don't you wear your coat?" asked one of them "I left my coat at home to keep the place warm!" answered Mulla Nasrudin.

Wet As You

2009-06-07T11:44:00.000+08:00

Obligation Mulla Nasrudin nearly fell into a pool one day. A man whom he knew slightly was nearby, and saved him. Every time he met Nasrudin after that he would remind him of the service which he had performed.

when this had happened several times Nasrudin took him to the water, jumped in, stood with his head just above water and shouted: "Now I am as wet as I would have been if you had not saved me! Leave me alone."

A Replacement

2009-06-06T10:23:00.000+08:00

When you face things alone You may have lost your donkey, Mulla Nasrudin, but you don't have to grieve over it more than you did about the loss of your first wife.

Ah, but if you remember, when i lost my wife, all you villagers said: We'll find you someone else. So far, nobody has offered to replace my donkey."

Put To Death

2009-06-03T23:15:00.000+08:00

Mulla Nasrudin claimed to be God and was brought before the Caliph, who said to him, "Last year someone here claimed to be a prophet and he was put to death!"

Nasrudin replied, "It was well that you did so, for I did not send him."

Bizarre Behaviour

2009-06-02T07:56:00.000+08:00

Walking one evening along a deserted road, Mulla Nasrudin saw a troop of horsemen rapidly approaching. His imagination started to work; he saw himself captured or robbed or killed and frightened by this thought he bolted, climbed a wall into a graveyard, and lay down in an open grave to hide.

Puzzled at his bizzare behaviour, the horsemen - honest travellers - followed him. They found him stretched out, tense, and shaking. "What are you doing in that grave? We saw you run away. Can we help you? Why are you here in this place?"

"Just because you can ask a question does not mean that there is a straightforward answer to it," said Nasrudin, who now realized what had happened. "It all depends upon your viewpoint. If you must know, however, I am here because of you - and you are here because of me!"

The Clothes Got Me In

2009-05-31T22:48:00.000+08:00

One day Mulla Nasrudin went to a banquet. As he was dressed rather shabbily, no one let him in. So he ran home, put on his best robe and fur coat and returned.

Immediately, the host came over, greeted him and ushered him to the head of an elaborate banquet table. When the food was served, Nasrudin took some soup with spoon and pushed it to the his fur coat and said, Eat my fur coat, eat! It's obvious that you're the real guest of honor today, not me!

Less Is Better

2009-05-31T09:13:00.000+08:00

Mulla Nasrudin used to stand in the street on market-days, to be pointed out as an idiot. No matter how often people offered him a large and a small coin, he always chose the smaller piece.

One day a kindly man said to him: Nasrudin, you should take the bigger coin. Then you will have more money and people will no longer be able to make a laughing stock of you.

That may be true, said Nasrudin, but if I always take the larger, people will stop offering me money to prove that I am more idiotic than they are. Then I would have no money at all.

It WIll Be Done

2009-05-24T15:50:00.000+08:00

"May the Will of Allah be done," a pious man was saying about something or the other. "It always is, in any case," said Mulla Nasrudin.

"How can you prove that, Mulla?" asked the man. "Quite simply. If it wasn't always being done, then surely at some time or another my will would be done, wouldn't it?"

Up The Ladder For An Answer

2009-05-23T17:26:00.000+08:00

One day Mulla Nasrudin repaired tiles on the roof of his house. While Nasrudin was working on the roof, a stranger knocked the door. - What do you want? Nasrudin shouted out.

Come down, replied stranger So I can tell it. Nasrudin unwilling and slowly climbed down the ladder. - Well! replied Nasrudin, what was the important thing?

Could you give little money to this poor old man? begged stranger. Tired Nasruddin started to climb up the ladder and said, - Follow me up to the roof. When both Nasrudin and beggar were upside, on the roof, Nasrudin said, - The answer is no!

Stand By What He Says

2009-05-22T06:45:00.001+08:00

A friend asked Mulla Nasrudin "How old are you?" "Forty replied the mulla."

The friend said but you said the same thing two years ago!"

"Yes" replied the mulla, "I always stand by what i have said."

Honorific Titles

2009-05-20T22:00:00.001+08:00

A certain conqueror said to Mulla Nasrudin: "Mulla, all the great rulers of the past had honorific titles with the name of God in them: there was, for instance, God-Gifted, and God-Accepted, and so on.

How about some such name for me?"

"God Forbid," said Nasrudin.

The Only Barber

2009-05-10T19:50:00.002+08:00

Mulla Nasrudin was walking along the street when he passed another man with a lot of stubble on his face standing outside a shop.

Nasrudin asked: "How often do you shave?

Twenty or thirty times a day," answered the man with the stubble.

"What! You must be a freak!" exclaimed Nasrudin. "No, I'm only a barber," replied the man with the stubble.

Two Questions

2009-04-09T22:22:00.001+08:00

Mulla Nasrudin opened a booth with a sign above it: Two Questions On Any Subject Answered For Only 100 Silver Coins.

A man who had two very urgent questions handed over his money, saying: A hundred silver coins is rather expensive for two questions, isn't it?

Yes, said Nasrudin, and the next question, please?

A Donkey's Word

2009-03-30T21:58:00.001+08:00

One day , one of Mulla Nasrudin's friend came over and wanted to borrow his donkey for a day or two.

Nasrudin, knowing his friend, was not kindly inclined to the request, and came up with the excuse that someone had already borrowed his donkey. Just as Nasrudin uttered these words, his donkey started braying in his backyard.

Hearing the sound, his friend gave him an accusing look, to which Nasrudin replied: "I refuse to have any further dealings with you since you take a donkey's word over mine."

The Cause For Running

2009-03-10T22:25:00.000+08:00

"When I was in the desert," said Mulla Nasrudin one day, "I caused an entire tribe of horrible and bloodthirsty bedouins to run."

"However did you do it?"

"Easy. I just ran, and they ran after me."

Fashion Show

2009-03-09T22:00:00.000+08:00

Once, when Mulla Nasrudin was visiting a Western town, he was invited to attend a fashion show. He went, and afterwards he was asked how he liked it.

"It's a complete swindle!" he exclaimed indignantly. "Whatever do you mean?" he was asked. "They show you the women - and then try to sell you the clothes!"

Smaller Fish

2009-02-22T22:23:00.003+08:00

Once a renowned philosopher and moralist was traveling through Mulla Nasrudin's village when he asked him where there was a good place to eat. He suggested a place and the scholar, hungry for conversation, invited Nasrudin to join him. Much obliged, Nasrudin accompanied the scholar to a nearby restaurant, where they asked the waiter about the special of the day. "Fish! Fresh Fish!" replied the waiter.

"Bring us two," they answered. A few minutes later, the waiter brought out a large platter with two cooked fish on it, one of which was a bit smaller than the other.

Without hesitating, Nasrudin tooked the larger of the fish and put in on his plate. The scholar, giving Nasrudin a look of intense disbelief, proceed to tell him that what he did was not only blatantly selfish, but that it violated the principles of almost every known moral, religious, and ethical system.

Nasrudin calmly listened to the philosopher's extempore lecture patiently, and when he had finally exhausted his resources, Nasrudin said, "Well, Sir, what would you have done?" "I, being a conscientious human, would have taken the smaller fish for myself."

"And here you are," Nasrudin said, and placed the smaller fish on the gentleman's plate.

More Useful

2009-02-22T06:58:00.000+08:00

One day Mullah Nasrudin entered his favorite teahouse and said: 'The moon is more useful than the sun'.

An old man asked 'Why Mulla?'

Nasrudin replied 'We need the light more during the night than during the day.'

Running Bedouins

2009-02-22T00:09:00.002+08:00

"When I was in the desert," said Mulla Nasrudin one day, "I caused an entire tribe of horrible and bloodthirsty bedouins to run."

"However did you do it?"

"Easy. I just ran, and they ran after me."

Honorable or Dishonorable

2008-11-27T07:21:00.000+08:00

Mulla Nasrudin had been calling on his girlfriend for over a year.

One evening the girl's father stopped him as he was leaving and asked, "Look here, young man, you have been seeing my daughter for a year now, and I would like to know whether your intentions are honorable or dishonorable?"

Nasrudin's face lit up. "Do you mean to say, Sir," he said, "That I have a choice?"

Never Ask Why

2008-11-26T21:06:00.000+08:00

"You don't love me any more," said Mulla Nasrudin's wife through her tears. "When you see me crying, you never ask why."

"I am sorry, Darling," said Nasrudin, "But that sort of question has already cost me an awful lot of money.”

Happiest Days

2008-11-25T08:10:00.000+08:00

Mulla Nasrudin came up and shook hands with the future bridegroom. "Congratulations, friend," he said, "on this, one of the happiest days of your life."

"But I am not getting married until tomorrow," said the future bridegroom. "I Know," said the Mulla. "That’s what makes this one of the happiest days."

More Sense Asleep

2008-11-24T21:27:00.000+08:00

The young lady's hopes had been high for two years while Mulla Nasrudin remained silent on the question of marriage.

Then one evening he said to her, "I had a most unusual dream last night. I dreamed that I asked to marry you. I wonder what that means."

"That means," said his girlfriend, "That you have more sense asleep than you are awake."

Promises, Promises

2008-11-23T23:27:00.000+08:00

"Darling," said the young woman,"I could die for your sake."

"You are always promising that,” said Mulla Nasrudin, "But you never do it."

Drunk Husband

2008-11-22T06:22:00.000+08:00

Mulla Nasrudin's young wife, recently returned from her honeymoon, was complaining to her friend about her husband's drinking habits.

"If you knew he drank, why did you marry him?" her friend asked. "I did not know he drank," said Nasrudin's wife, "Until one night he came home sober."

Public Speaking

2008-11-21T05:59:00.001+08:00

Mulla Nasrudin, who was really unaccustomed to public speaking, arose in confusion after dinner and muttered hesitatingly: "M-m-my f-f-friends, when I came here tonight only God and me knew what I was about to say to you, and now only God knows!"

Growing Old

2008-11-20T23:18:00.000+08:00

Mulla Nasrudin, celebrating his 95th birthday was asked by a friend: "Don't you hate growing old, Mulla?"

"Heck, no,"said Nasrudin.

"If I wasn’t growing old, I'd be dead."

Break The Habit

2008-02-17T20:37:00.000+08:00

A school teacher wrote a note home to Abdul's mother: "Dear Mrs. Nasrudin, your son, Abdul, is a smart boy, but he spends all of his time with the girls. I am trying to break him of this habit."

The teacher received this reply: "I wish you success. Please let me know how you do it. I have been trying for years to break his father of the same habit."

What Is Wrong With Me?

2008-02-12T07:39:00.000+08:00

"Doctor," a woman said as she rushed into Mulla Nasrudin's house, "I want you to tell me frankly, exactly what is wrong with me." Nasrudin looked her over from head to foot, then said, "Madam, I have three things to tell you.

First, you are about fifty pounds overweight, Second, your looks would be improved if you took off several layers of rouge and lipstick. And third, i am not the doctor. the doctor's office is across the street."

Painting Wonder

2008-01-26T21:23:00.000+08:00

Mulla Nasrudin was chatting with his master who had taken up art.

"When I look at one of your paintings, Sir," he said, "all I can do is stand and wonder."

"Wonder how I do it?" asked the master.

"No," said Nasrudin. "Why you do it."

Law Of Compensation

2008-01-23T17:38:00.000+08:00

Mulla Nasrudin's son, home from college, was talking to his father about the "Law of Compensation," which he had studied.

"If a person loses one eye," he explained, "the sight in the other becomes stronger. If he loses the hearing in one ear, the hearing in the other becomes more acute. If he loses one hand, he becomes more agile with the other."

"I guess that's right," said Nasrudin. "I have always noticed that when a man has one short leg the other is longer."

Borrow From Me

2008-01-22T23:05:00.000+08:00

A well-known dead-beat caught Mulla Nasrudin on the street one day before the Mulla could duck.

"I am really in a jam and need money," he said to the Mulla," and I have not any idea where I am going to get some." "I am sure glad to hear that," said Nasrudin.

"I was afraid you might have the mistaken idea you could borrow some from me."

Unmarried Forever

2008-01-21T22:49:00.000+08:00

A young lady went to old Mulla Nasrudin for advice.

She said to the Mulla: "Should I marry a fellow who lies to me?"

"Yes, unless you want to remain unmarried forever," said Nasrudin.

Who's The Boss?

2008-01-20T08:51:00.000+08:00

"You ought to stand on your two feet and show your wife who is running things at your house," a big, bossy fellow said to his friend, Mulla Nasrudin.

"There is no need to," said Nasrudin, "She already knows."

Inventor On The Wall

2008-01-19T22:58:00.000+08:00

Mulla Nasrudin, the landlord of a rather rundown rooming house, had led a prospective tenant to a third-floor room with badly spotted wall paper.

Nasrudin: "The last man who lived in this room was an inventor he invented some sort of explosive." Prospect: "Oh, these spots on the walls are chemicals?"

Nasrudin: "No, the inventor."

Play Anything You Like

2008-01-19T10:15:00.000+08:00

Mulla Nasrudin kept begging the noted pianist to play. "Well, all right, since you insist," he said.

"What shall I play?" "Anything you like," said Nasrudin.

"It's only to annoy the neighbours."

Telling Not Asking

2008-01-18T19:14:00.000+08:00

It seemed that every time Mulla Nasrudin met his lawyer, he had some added legal fees. It worried the Mulla to the point of ulcers.

Then one day, he met his lawyer in the post office and said, "Nice day, isn't it? And remember, I am telling you, not asking you."

Getting Used To It

2008-01-17T21:48:00.000+08:00

Mulla Nasrudin was telling a friend his future through palmistry. He said, "You will be poor and unhappy and miserable until you are sixty."

"Then what?" asked the man hopefully. "By that time," said Nasrudin, "You will be used to it."

Which Girl Should I Marry

2008-01-17T07:38:00.000+08:00

A college freshman was talking about girls with Mulla Nasrudin. "Which would you advise me to do? Marry a sensible girl or a beautiful girl, Mulla?" he asked.

"I don't think you will be able to marry either," said the Mulla. "Why not?" asked the freshman.

"It's logical," said Nasrudin. "A beautiful girl could do better and a sensible girl would know better."

No Whipping

2008-01-16T07:30:00.000+08:00

"Why are you so down in the mouth, Mulla?" asked someone in the tavern. "Aw," said Mulla Nasrudin, "I just heard a guy call another fellow a liar.

And that fellow said that if he didn't apologize, he would whip him." "Well, why should that make you so sad?" asked the first.

"Because," said Nasrudin, "The guy apologized."

Video On Mulla Nasrudin Story

2008-01-15T20:08:00.000+08:00

Loreleila reads from 'The Exploits of the Incomparable Mullah Nasrudin' by Idries Shah.

Two Questions

2008-01-10T07:49:00.000+08:00

Not Everybody Can Be That Lucky

2008-01-08T23:20:00.000+08:00

"Everybody has something to be thankful for," the minister said to Mulla Nasrudin, who was sitting in his office telling a tale of woe.

"Look at the man across the street from you who just lost his wife in an automobile accident."

"Yes," said Nasrudin, "but everybody can't be that lucky, sir."

Beauty Unveiled

2007-12-31T23:20:00.000+08:00

According to social rules existing during Mulla Nasrudin's day, brides didn't show themselves to their future husbands prior to marriage.

On Mulla's wedding day, his wife unveiled her face to him and asked, "Tell me, which of your relatives can I see without covering my face?"

Mulla replied, "Show your face to whomever you want; just make sure you keep it covered in my presence!"

Dreams in Detail

2007-12-30T19:27:00.000+08:00

Once Mulla Nasrudin woke his wife in the middle of the night and said, "Hey, be quick, give me my glasses."

The wife asked, "Why do you need your glasses in the middle of the night?"

Mulla replied, "I'm having a very interesting dream and need to see some of the details that are a bit blurry."

Good Swimmer?

2007-12-30T09:07:00.000+08:00

Mulla Nasrudin took a second wife who was younger than the first one. One evening he came home to find them quarreling about which of them Mulla loved more.

At first, Mulla told them he loved them both, but neither of them were satisfied with his answer. Then the older one asked, "Well, just suppose the three of us were in a boat, and it started to sink. Which of us would you try to save?"

Mulla thought for a moment, and then said to his older wife, "My dear, you know how to swim, don't you?"

Light at Night

2007-12-29T21:22:00.000+08:00

One day, someone asked Mulla Nasrudin, "Which is more valuable to man, the sun or the moon?"

"The moon, of course, because we need more light at night."

How Much For The Chair?

2007-12-26T19:26:00.000+08:00

Mulla Nasrudin, carrying a chair, walked up to the owner of a secondhand store and asked how much it was worth. "Three dollars," said the secondhand dealer. The Mulla seemed surprised. "Isn't it worth more than that?" he said.

"Three dollars is the limit," the owner said. "See that? Where the leg is split? And look here where the paint is peeling."

"Okay then," said Nasrudin. "I saw it in front of your store marked $10, but I thought there must be a mistake. for $3 I will take it."

To Catch Wife Attention

2007-12-26T06:26:00.000+08:00

Mulla Nasrudin used to say: "If you want your wife to pay close attention to what you are saying, whisper it to another woman in a low voice."

Which Side Should I Be?

2007-12-25T20:39:00.000+08:00

"Mulla Nasruddin, which side must I walk when carrying a coffin, at the front, back, left or right?", someone onced asked the Mulla.

"Take which you like best, so long as you are not inside!"

Only God Knows

2007-12-20T06:43:00.000+08:00

Wasted Life

2007-12-19T22:14:00.000+08:00

Mulla Nasrudin, ferrying a scholarly man across a piece of rough water, said something ungrammatical to him. "Have you never studied grammar?" asked the scholar.

"No."

"Then half your life is wasted."

A few minutes later Nasrudin turned to the passenger.

"Have you ever learned how to swim?"

"No. Why?"

"Then all your life is wasted-we are sinking!"

Running Off With The Wife

2007-12-19T07:29:00.000+08:00

Mulla Nasrudin reported to the superintendent of the mental hospital and asked: "Have any of your male patients escaped lately?"

"Why do you ask? said the superintendent. "Because, " said the Mulla, "Someone has run off with my wife."

Don't Wake Dad

2007-12-18T21:24:00.000+08:00

The young daughter of Mulla Nasrudin heard a tapping on her window in the early hours of the morning. There on a ladder was her boyfriend.

Their elopement was going according to plan. "Are you all ready?" her boyfriend asked. "Yes," whispered the girl, "but don't talk so loud, you might wake up my father."

"Wake him up?" her boyfriend asked. "Who do you think is holding the ladder?"

Is Your Wife Home

2007-12-18T07:07:00.000+08:00

Mulla Nasrudin thought he was going to die with a toothache. He asked his friend, "What can I do to relieve the pain?" "I will tell you what I do," his friend said.

"When I have a toothache, or a pain, I go over to my wife, and she puts her arms around me, and caresses me, and soothes me until finally I forget all about the pain."

Nasrudin brightened up and said: "Gee, That's wonderful! Is she home now?"

Benefits Of The Job

2007-12-17T18:46:00.000+08:00

Mulla Nasrudin was applying for a job. "Does the company pay for my hospitalization?" he asked. "No, you pay for it," the personnel director said.

"We take it out of your salary each month." "The last place I worked, they paid for it," said the Mulla. "That's unusual," the personnel man said. "How much vacation did you get?" "Six weeks," replied the Mulla.

"Did you get a bonus?" the personnel man asked. "Yes," said the Mulla. "Not only that, they gave us an annual bonus, sent us a turkey on Thanksgiving, gave us the use of a company car and threw a big barbecue for us each year."

"Why did you leave?" asked the personnel director. "They went bankrupt," said Nasrudin.

More Sense Asleep

2007-12-17T08:09:00.000+08:00

The young lady's hopes had been high for two years while Mulla Nasrudin remained silent on the question of marriage.

Then one evening he said to her, "I had a most unusual dream last night. I dreamed that I asked to marry you. I wonder what that means."

"That Means," said his girlfriend, "That You Have More Sense Asleep Than You Have Awake."

Proud Of Son

2007-12-16T23:31:00.000+08:00

A friend was visiting Mulla Nasrudin. "My boy has just written me from jail," he said.

"He says they're going to cut six months off his sentence for good behaviour."

"MY," said Mulla Nasrudin. "You Must Be Proud To Have A Son Like That."

Wife Or Mule

2007-12-16T05:49:00.000+08:00

Mulla Nasrudin's mule kicked his wife in the head and she died. A huge crowd turned out for the funeral, most of them men.

The minister following the ceremonies, said: "This lady must have been very popular. Look at the large number of people who have left their work to come to her funeral."

"They are not here for the funeral," said Nasrudin. "They are here to bid on the mule."

Who Are You Going To Believe?

2007-12-15T14:49:00.000+08:00

A neighbor who Mulla Nasrudin didn't like very much came over to his compound one day. The neighbor asked Nasruddin if he could borrow his donkey. Nasrudin not wanting to lend his donkey to the neighbor he didn't like told him, "I would love to loan you my donkey but only yesterday my brother came from the next town to use it to carry his wheat to the mill to be grounded. The donkey sadly is not here.

" The neighbor was disappointed. But he thanked Nasrudin and began to walk away. Just as he got a few steps away, Mulla Nasruddin's donkey, which was in the back of his compound all the time, let out a big bray.

The neighbor turned to Nasruddin and said, "Mulla, I thought you told me that your donkey was not here. Mulla Nasrudin turned to the neighbor and said, "My friend, who are you going to believe? Me or the donkey?

Crying Baby

2007-12-15T12:28:00.000+08:00

The young father was pushing the crying baby down the street with what appeared to be absolute calm and self-assurance. People on the street could hear what he was saying as he passed.

"Take it easy, Nasrudin," he said. "Don't let it get you down, Nasrudin, you will soon be safe back home. Things will be all right, Nasrudin, if you just keep calm."

One motherly type woman waiting for a bus, heard and saw the young father and said to him, "I think you are wonderful the way you are taking care of the baby." Then she leaned over to the baby and said,

"Now, don't cry, Nasrudin, everything is going to be all right." "LADY," said the father, "You have got it all wrong. his name is Daud -- I am Nasrudin."

Man's Best Qualities

2007-12-14T23:55:00.001+08:00

One day someone asked Mulla Nasrudin, "What are the best qualities of mankind?"

"Well," he replied, "a philosopher once told me that there are two. He had forgotten the one, but he told me the other. But to tell you the truth, I've since forgotten that one, too."

Bedouins Running

2007-12-14T18:05:00.000+08:00

"When I was in the desert," said Mulla Nasrudin one day,

"I caused an entire tribe of horrible and bloodthirsty bedouins to run."

"However did you do it?" "Easy. I just ran, and they ran after me."

Hearing Aid

2007-12-14T07:23:00.000+08:00

Mulla Nasrudin bought one of those new hearing aids that are practically invisible. He was told that he could return it if it didn't prove twice as good as the cumbersome device he had been using.

He stopped by a few days later to express his satisfaction with the new device. "I bet your family likes it too," said the clerk.

"Oh, they don't even know I have got it," said Nasrudin. "and do you know what? I am having more fun with it! In the past two days, i have changed my will three times."

Frightening Place

2007-12-13T18:38:00.000+08:00

One day a visitor came to Mulla Nasrudin with a question. "Mullah Nasrudin, the place that we humans come from and the place that we go to, what is it like?"

"Oh," said Mullah Nasrudin, "it is a very frightening place."

"Why do you say that?" the visitor asked. "Well, when we come from there as babies, we are crying, and when somebody has to go there, everybody cries."

Who Is To Blame

2007-12-12T20:37:00.000+08:00

Mulla Nasrudin and his wife came home one day to find the house burgled. Everything portable had been taken away. "It's all your fault," said his wife, "for you should have made sure that the house was locked before we left."

The Neighbor took up the chant: "You did not lock the windows," said one. "Why did you not expect this?" said another. "The locks were faulty and you did not replace them," said a third.

"Just a moment," said Nasrudin, "surely I am not the only one to blame?"

"And who should we blame?" they shouted. "What about the thieves?" said Nasrudin. "Are they totally innocent?"

No Time For Piano

2007-12-12T07:53:00.000+08:00

"My wife used to play the piano," a friend told Mulla Nasrudin, "But since the children came, she has not had time to touch it."

"Children sometimes are a comfort, are they not?" said Nasrudin.

What Is The Quarrel About?

2007-12-11T22:58:00.000+08:00

Mulla Nasrudin was awakened in the middle of the night by the cries of two quarreling men in front of his house. Nasrudin waited for a while but they continued to dispute with each other. Nasruddin couldn't sleep, wrapping his quilt tightly around his shoulders, he rushed outside to separate the men who had come to blows.

But when he tried to reason with them, one of them snatched the quilt off Nasrudin shoulders and then the both of men ran away. Nasrudin, very weary and perplexed, returned to his house.

"What was the quarrel about?" wondered his wife when Nasruddin came in. "It must be our quilt," replied Nasrudin. "The quilt is gone, the dispute is ended."

Acting Like A Gentlemen

2007-12-11T17:36:00.000+08:00

One day Mulla Nasrudin visited a large department store to buy his wife some nylon hose. Inadvertently, he got caught in a mad rush at a counter where a bargain sale was going on.

He soon found himself being pushed and stepped on by frantic women. He stood it as long as he could. Then with head lowered and elbows out, he plowed through the crowd. "You there!" said a woman. "Can't you act like a gentleman?"

"Not any more," said Nasrudin. "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. from now on, I am acting like a lady."

All Are Catholic

2007-12-11T07:45:00.000+08:00

Mulla Nasrudin was getting ready to apply to a local department store for a job. A friend told him that it was the policy of the store to hire nobody but Catholic Christians, and that if he wanted a job there, he would have to lie about being a Catholic Christian.

Nasrudin applied for the job and the personnel man asked him the usual questions. Then he said to the Mulla, "And what church do you belong to?"

"I am a Catholic," said Nasrudin. "And all my family are Catholics. In fact, my father is a priest and my mother is a nun, Sir."

Either You Know Or You Don't

2007-12-10T18:59:00.000+08:00

Once, the people of The City invited Mulla Nasruddin to deliver a sermon. When he got on the pulpit, he found the audience was not very enthusiastic, so he asked "Do you know what I am going to say?"

The audience replied "No", so he announced "I have no desire to speak to people who don't even know what I will be talking about" and he left. The people felt embarrassed and called him back again the next day.

This time when he asked the same question, the people replied "Yes" So Mulla Nasruddin said, "Well, since you already know what I am going to say, I won't waste any more of your time" and he left.

Now the people were really perplexed. They decided to try one more time and once again invited the Mulla to speak the following week. Once again he asked the same question - "Do you know what I am going to say?"

Now the people were prepared and so half of them answered "Yes" while the other half replied "No". So Mulla Nasruddin said "The half who know what I am going to say, tell it to the other half" and he left!

Should Be Ashamed

2007-12-10T07:25:00.001+08:00

Mulla Nasrudin's wife complained bitterly to the Mulla. "I am absolutely ashamed of the way we live. Mother pays our rent. My aunt buys our clothes. My sister sends us money for food.

I don't like to complain, but I am ashamed that we cannot do better than that."

"You should be ashamed," said Nasrudin. "You have got two uncles that don't send us a dime."

Vacuum Cleaner Salesman

2007-12-10T07:24:00.000+08:00

A vacuum cleaner salesman rang the doorbell of Mulla Nasrudin's house and was admitted by a woman, who immediately left the room.

After talking a bit to the Mulla who was in the room, the salesman said, "Was that your wife, who let me in?"

"Certainly. do you think i would hire a maid as homely as that?" asked Nasrudin.

Make Me Happy

2007-12-09T22:58:00.001+08:00

"Why don't you stop picking on me?" said Mulla Nasrudin to his wife. "I am trying to do everything possible to make you happy."

"There's one thing you haven't done that my first husband did to make me happy," she said. "What's that?" asked the Mulla. "He dropped dead," she said.

Awful Song

2007-12-09T22:56:00.000+08:00

A guest at a concert turned to Mulla Nasrudin sitting next to him and criticised the voice of the woman who was singing.

"What a terrible voice," he said. "Do you know who she is?" "Yes," said the Mulla. "She's my wife."

"Oh," said the embarrassed guest, "I beg your pardon. Of course, it is not her voice that is bad, it is that awful song she has to sing. I wonder who wrote it." "I did," said Nasrudin.

Take The Smaller Coin

2007-12-07T15:35:00.002+08:00

Hard To Find

2007-12-07T15:35:00.001+08:00

"I am going to get a divorce," a friend told Mulla Nasrudin.

"My wife has not spoken to me in three months."

"I'd think twice if I were you," said the Mulla. "wives like that are hard to find."

More Than Enough

2007-12-06T23:22:00.001+08:00

Mulla Nasrudin and his neighbour were chatting. "Yesterday, I took a girl to the coke bar in the afternoon," said the neighbour, "and I paid for that. Then I took her to the drive-in for a hot dog and I paid for that.

After that, I took her to a movie, and I paid for that. Then I took her to a nightclub and I paid for that. Do you think I should have kissed her goodnight, Mulla?"

"No," said Nasrudin. "I think you did enough for her for one day."

Pain In The Leg

2007-12-06T16:15:00.001+08:00

"That pain in your leg is caused by old age," the doctor told Mulla Nasrudin.

"That can't be," replied the Mulla.

"The other leg is the same age and doesn't hurt a bit."

Honorific Titles

2007-12-06T16:14:00.000+08:00

A certain conqueror said to Nasruddin: "Mulla, all the great rulers of the past had honorific titles with the name of God in them: there was, for instance, God-Gifted, and God-Accepted, and so on.

How about some such name for me?" "God Forbid," said Nasruddin.

Center Of The World

2007-12-06T05:19:00.000+08:00

One day Mullah Nasruddin was asked "Could you tell us the exact location of the center of the world?" "Yes, I can," replied Mullah Nasruddin .

"It is just under the left hind of my donkey." "Well, maybe! But do you have any proof?" "If you doubt my word, just measure and see."

Not Paying

2007-12-06T05:16:00.000+08:00

One day Mullah Nasruddin went to market to buy new clothes. First he tested a pair of trousers. He didn't like the trousers and he gave back them to the shopkeeper. Then he tried a robe which had same price as the trousers.

Mullah Nasruddin was pleased with the robe and he left the shop. Before he climbed on the donkey to ride home he stopped by the shopkeeper and the shop-assistant.

"You didn't pay for the robe," said the shopkeeper. "But I gave you the trousers instead of the robe, isn't it?" replied Mullah Nasruddin .

"Yes, but you didn't pay for the trousers, either!" said the shopkeeper. "But I didn't buy the trousers," replied Mullah Nasruddin. "I am not so stupid to pay for something which I never bought."

Payment For Yesterday

2007-12-05T22:15:00.000+08:00

One day Mulla Nasrudin went to a Turkish bath but as he was dressed so poorly, the attendants didn't pay much attention to him. They gave him only a scrap of soap, a rag for a loin cloth and an old towel.

When Mulla left, he gave each of the two attendants a gold coin. As he had not complained of their poor service, they were very surprised. They wondered had they treated him better whether he would have given them even a larger tip.

The next week, Mulla came again. This time, they treated him like royalty and gave him embroidered towels and a loin cloth of silk. After being massaged and perfumed, he left the bath, handing each attendant the smallest copper coin possible. "This," said Mulla, "is for the last visit. The gold coins are for today."

Questions as Answers

2007-12-05T22:13:00.001+08:00

One day Mulla Nasrudin was asked, "How is it you always answer a question with another question?"

"Do I?" he replied.

Feel At Home

2007-12-05T16:14:00.000+08:00

Mulla Nasrudin had just checked into the hotel.

"Welcome," said the clerk at the desk.

"We want you to know you are welcome. We are going to do everything we can to make you comfortable and help you to feel at home."

"Please don't," said the Mulla. "I left home so I could find a change. For the next few days I want to feel as if I am at a beach resort."

Secret of Longevity

2007-12-05T00:37:00.000+08:00

One day Mulla Nasrudin was asked the secret to longevity.

"Keep your feet warm, your head cool, be careful what you eat and don't think too much."

Finding In The Dark

2007-12-05T00:35:00.000+08:00

One day Mullah Nasruddin lost his ring down in the basement of his house, where it was very dark. There being no chance of his finding it in that darkness, he went out on the street and started looking for it there.

Somebody passing by stopped and enquire: "What are you looking for, Mullah Nasruddin ? Have you lost something?"

"Yes, I've lost my ring down in the basement." "But Mullah Nasruddin , why don't you look for it down in the basement where you have lost it?" asked the man in surprise. "Don't be silly, man! How do you expect me to find anything in that darkness!"

The Stranger’s Request

2007-12-03T16:39:00.001+08:00

One day, Mulla Nasrudin was repairing his roof, and was interrupted by a stranger knocking on his door.

“What do you want?” Nasrudin shouted down to him from the roof.

“Come down so I can tell you,” the stranger replied.

Nasrudin angrily climbed down the ladder. “Well!” Nasrudin snapped at the stranger, “What is so important?”

“Can you spare some money for this poor old man?” asked the stranger in a near whisper.

Nasrudin started to climb up the ladder and said, “Follow me up to the roof.”

When they both reached the roof, Nasrudin turned to the stranger and said, “No, you can’t have any money. Now get off my roof!”

Lousy Party

2007-12-03T16:38:00.000+08:00

"This sure is a lousy party," a guest at a cocktail party said to Mulla Nasrudin, who was next to him.

"I am going to finish this one and then get out of here."

"I would too," said Nasrudin, "But I have got to stay. I am the host."

Stand By What Is Said

2007-12-03T16:37:00.001+08:00

A friend asked the Mulla Nasrudin "How old are you?"

"Forty replied the mullah."

The friend said but you said the same thing two years ago!"

"Yes" replied the Mulla, "I always stand by what I have said."